


From Me to You

by ayanamirei00



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 17:45:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4531233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayanamirei00/pseuds/ayanamirei00
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and all of its properties belongs to Hideaki Anno, Studio Gainax, Studio Khara, TV Tokyo, Tatsunoko Production and Nihon Ads System.</p><p>If Neon Genesis Evangelion belonged to me, KaworuxShinji would be canon. That is all. -_-</p><p>★WARNING: Spoilers for episodes 22 and 23.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and all of its properties belongs to Hideaki Anno, Studio Gainax, Studio Khara, TV Tokyo, Tatsunoko Production and Nihon Ads System.
> 
> If Neon Genesis Evangelion belonged to me, KaworuxShinji would be canon. That is all. -_-
> 
> ★WARNING: Spoilers for episodes 22 and 23.

The pale light of daybreak steaked through the Nerv hospital windows. The silence of the hallway was disrupted by resonating footsteps. The Second Child, Asuka Langley Soryu, was discharged after her incident with the 15th Angel, Zeruel.  
She recollected the memory of her Evangelion Unit-02 being dismembered. Of how Unit-01 went berserk and killed Zeruel. Most importantly, she remembered that Shinji beat her yet again, in both combat victories and sync ratios.

At this point, she stopped and glared at her reflection in one of the multiple hospital windows. In contrast to the serene view of New Tokyo-3 bathed in the sunlit mist, Asuka felt every inch of her body blush with rage and shame over the defeat.

"I lost...to that Angel...to that idiot Shinji..."

A brief image of the First Child, Rei Ayanami, flashed through her memories. 

At the culmination of her fury, her fist reeled and struck her reflection in the window, cracking it in the process. A single shard fell to the floor, making a dim echo.

"I'll be damned if I lose to the likes of you again.." She didn't seem to notice her blood trickling down her hand and dripping onto the broken shards.

The rest of the day went about in the usual routine of the Nerv employees and the Eva pilots. Evangelion Unit-01 was still on lockdown after the aforementioned Angel incident, and Evangelion Unit-02 was undergoing repairs. Since the umbilical bridge was currently occupied, Asuka stood at a distance. One of the Eva's arms was almost reassembled. She glanced around a little and noticed Unit-01 in its cage. A shudder tore through her. The way the exposed eye was peeking through the bandaged face gave her an ominous feeling that it was watching her every move. At last, she saw Unit-00. The left arm was replaced and, on closer inspection, she noticed Gendo Ikari moving away from the umbilical bridge. Unit-00's pilot, Rei, was in tow.  
Asuka glared at Rei and left the area.

Her irritation continued throughout the night. Misato was still at Nerv Headquarters and Shinji was still absorbed into Unit-01, so she was alone for the night at Misato's apartment. After failing her tenth attempt at falling asleep, Asuka extended her bandaged hand towards the ceiling. 

Why do I pilot Eva? Why do I continue to do this even though it causes me pain?

Why am I doing this? For whom am I doing this? Mama? Kaji? Myself?

As she slowly lowered her hand, a dark chuckle escaped from her throat.

"Now I'm really starting to sound like that idiot Shinji"

Through the dim moonlight, she noticed her bandage was starting to turn red.

The next morning, Asuka awoke to an empty apartment, which meant that Misato was already at Nerv Headquarters. Later there was to be another synchro test, which further dragged her confidence. Having forgone breakfast, she found herself walking subconsciously towards the facility. After changing into her plugsuit, Asuka found her way into the test room, where Ritsuko and Misato were already waiting.

Settling herself into the entry plug, she inwardly gagged at the sight of the slowly rising LCL. Even though she's been trained for years, Asuka (not like she'd ever admit it) never quite got used to the sensation. The interior lights illuminated the plug, beginning the test.

"How terrible, her test scores are worse than yesterday's." Even from within the LCL-filled plug, Asuka could hear Ritsuko's voice clearly.  
"Asuka's feeling bad today. She recently started her period.", said Misato.

In a somewhat cold and matter-of-fact tone, Ritsuko retorted, "Sync ratios are not affected by external bodily disorders."  
Asuka froze at that last word. She hated hearing words like that. It made her remember visiting her mother in the hospital. Especially the time she-

Shaking the awful memories out of her head, Asuka tried to concentrate again. Twenty minutes later, the test concluded.

With the results of her test fresh in her mind, she stood in front of the elevator. Once the doors opened, she found herself face-to-face with Rei. 

Great, just what I needed

Shooting a glare at Rei, she strode inside.

As the elevator ascended, the two stood in dead silence, neither of them facing each other. Eventually, Rei spoke up.

"If you don't open your heart, the EVA won't move"

Not one to take sympathy lightly, Asuka spat back, "Are you saying my heart is closed off?!"

"Yes, the EVAs have a mind of their own."

"That puppet?!"

No response from Rei. Asuka continued, "To hear you say something like that, maybe it'll snow tomorrow." Again, no response. "What?! Are you happy that I can't pilot EVA? When an Angel comes, Shinji will defeat it for us!! We don't have to do anything!! They don't need us anymore, they only need Shinji!!"

Finally letting off steam, she continued her rant again. "Not only Shinji, but the emotionless doll is also feeling sympathy for me." 

"I'm not a doll.", Rei responded.

"SHUT UP!! You're always doing exactly as you're told!! If Commander Ikari ordered you to, you'd kill yourself!!"

Facing towards her, Rei said, "I would do that."  
She saw red. Transferring every ounce of strength into her hand, she slapped Rei straight across the face.

At last, the elevator stopped at the 8th floor. Asuka backed out, wanting to get away from Rei.  
"I honestly wish you'd drop dead!!"  
The doors closed behind her. Left alone in the empty hallway, Asuka ran off.

Rei stood alone in the elevator. Slowly bringing a hand to her cheek, she slightly winced at the painful sting. She recalled Asuka's last words. Only the words "drop dead" resounded in her memory. "Even if I did, it wouldn't make a difference."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neon Genesis Evangelion and all of its properties belong to Hideaki Anno, Studio Gainax, Studio Khara, TV Tokyo, Tatsunoko Productions, and Nihon Ads System.
> 
> If it belonged to me, I would have tweaked the TV ending (just a little bit) and the ending of End of Evangelion would have been even more depressing and fucked up. XP
> 
> On with the story! ^_^

It's been a few days since Asuka and Rei's confrontation in the elevator. So far, no angels have attacked New Tokyo-3, and Nerv has finished repairing Units 00 and 02. With nothing better to do, Asuka found herself standing in front of Unit 02, in full battle gear.  
"So you're finally back together, after losing like that..." She gazed at the Eva's face, almost expecting it to reply. Seeing as how the Evangelion's jaws were bolted shut, it became a moot point.

"Anyway, you're my doll, so move when I tell you to. I don't accept "no" as an answer." Again, she was met with dead silence. Rei's words echoed in her head. "Eva has a mind of her own." She stopped and pondered for a minute.

What did the First mean by that? Why the hell does a weapon have a mind of its own? 

She was pulled out of her thoughts by the deafening alarm, which only meant one thing: an Angel was approaching. 

Oh, you've got to be kidding.

Inside Central Dogma, Misato was waiting to get a visual of the new target. The screen appeared hazy at first, but was able to focus itself on Arael, the new Angel. "What's the status?", she asked the technicians. "Target is currently in low orbit. We have no weapons with a strong enough firing range." responded Hyuga. "Probably waiting for a chance to strike." Misato muttered to herself. "Anyway, how's Rei?"

"She and Unit 00 are in good combat condition." said Maya. "Understood. Unit 00, move out! Prepare for extreme long distance firing. Asuka, prepare for a sortie as backup." ordered Misato.

Asuka nearly did a double-take. "Backup? Me? For Unit 00?!" "Affirmative. You take the rear guard." You've got to be kidding me, Asuka thought, there's no way in hell I'm serving as the First's backup. "Eva-02, launch!"   
The restraints were released and Eva-02 ascended towards the surface. "Asuka, wait, what're you doing?!" asked Ritsuko. 

"It's ok. Allow her in the front if she wishes."

All eyes immediately turned towards Misato. "Major Katsuragi," interjected Maya "we still don't know the Angel's abilities. It's too reckless!" The major's cold gaze remained fixed on the screen. A sullen Ritsuko glanced towards her. " You do realize that if Asuka screws up here, she won't be able to pilot anymore." After a short moment, Misato replied "I'm well aware of that" in a manner too reminiscent of Commander Ikari. 

We still can't use Unit-01, not after an incident like that. Misato glanced towards the Evangelion in its heavily restricted cage. Despite the lockdown, its pilot, Shinji Ikari, rested inside. Ritsuko spoke within Maya's hearing range, "In any case, we should start looking for a replacement pilot for Unit-02." "Understood."  
Eva-02 emerged to the streets of New Tokyo-3, position rifle in hand. Having heard the entire conversation, Asuka started gripping the hand levers. If there was any day to regain self-confidence, today was paramount. If I screw up here, I might be replaced, she thought. Asuka, you must not make any mistakes.

Using the built-in scope, Asuka waited for the sensors to lock on target. "Angel is still out of range." spoke Aoba. "Oh, come on! Get out here! You're really starting to get on my nerves!" Asuka spoke through gritted teeth. The rainy clouds dispersed and a thin stream of sunlight glistened. 

The problem was, the glare of sunlight wasn't usually this intense.

Immediately, a spotlight of sun rained down on Unit-02. The screens at Nerv blared "WARNING!!" signals throughout the complex. Even though the Angel (apparently) hadn't done anything yet, Asuka could feel the pain through the neuro-link. Every nerve in her body felt the torture of someone jabbing the tips of white-hot knives through them. Her head felt as if it was about to simultaneously explode, rip open, and melt. 

Asuka gripped her head, screaming in agony as random memories from her childhood overwhelmed her. Due to their link, Eva-02 started mimicking Asuka's movements and convulsed its body into nearly impossible positions. More memories flashed by as Asuka screamed in pain and horror. "I'm begging you, don't look into my mind!! I don't want to remember anymore, so please, stop it!!" she pleaded to the Angel. The workers at Nerv were thrown into complete panic. 

"Her mental graph has fallen below zero!!"

"Contamination of Eva-02 has exceeded 80%!!"

"What's Asuka's status?" asked Ritsuko to Maya. "Very dangerous. Her mental contamination is almost reaching borderline." Ritsuko was left deep in thought.  
An Angel's psychic attack? Are they trying to understand the minds of humans?

Within the chaos of the mental assault, Asuka began to focus on a particular memory: a young girl, standing alone at her mother's funeral, crying and clutching her stuffed animal into her chest. Seeing her younger self standing there, vulnerable, Asuka could barely stand to look at her.

Why am I crying? I decided I wouldn't cry anymore.

Through sheer force of will, the memory was replaced with another one: she was confronting her father. 

"What's wrong? It's a present from your new mother. You don't like it?"

Her younger counterpart glared in disgust at her "present". It was a doll, disturbingly resembling the same one her mother had, up until the "incident".

"No."

"So then, what do you want?"

She had heard enough. She wasn't a child anymore. As if to symbolize that notion, Asuka crushed the doll under her heel.

"I don't need this. I want to become an adult."

The Angel, however, seemed to disagree. Asuka was immediately drowned with her childhood past and present. She was forced to confront her unrequited feelings for Kaji, her complex relationship with Shinji, her desire to become a respected individual, and, to her utter dismay, how she really feels about Rei. Arael's voice prodded her.

Why do you hate her?

"She's nothing but a lifeless doll! All the First can do is follow orders, she has no will of her own!!"

That's not what you really think, is it?

"That is what I think!"

She reminds you of your childhood. You're too afraid, so you push her away. 

"No!" Her voice was wavering, uncertain, "that's not it..."

She found herself in a fetal position, head bowed and knees drawn. Asuka could feel her younger counterpart's (really Arael's) leering eyes on her. Arael asked a rather innocent question, but to Asuka these three words were enough to weaken her already fragile composure.

"Are you lonely?"

"..."

With childish curiosity, Arael approached her. She honestly meant no harm, she only wanted to understand humans and how they think.

Are all humans like this? Are they all suffering like this? I want to know more, but I'm doing nothing but causing her pain.

"Are you lonely?" She extended her hand towards Asuka, as a way of comforting her. 

"NO!" 

She rejected Arael, both physically and emotionally. Arael felt herself painfully dissolve into shreds. Desperate for answers, she resorted to communicating telepathically.

Do you like me?

"I don't need anyone!"

Rei appeared in front of her.

Do you hate me?

"I can live on my own!"

Tilting Asuka's chin, they met eye-to-eye. A demonic smirk stretched across Rei's face.

But you're lying, aren't you?


End file.
